Happy birthday to the world’s most awesome cousin!
Wait, I meant to say happy birthday from the world’s most awesome cousin! You’re lucky to have someone as wonderful and as cool as me in your life, cuz!
I was just about to wish you well and make fun of how old you are getting at the same time, but then I realised I’m not that far behind you in terms of age! So that backfired!
I was going to buy you hair dye for your birthday gift this year, but then I thought a hat would be a better idea since it’ll cover both gray hair and your eventual baldness! I’m always thinking of you, bro!