You are my best friend and because of that, I feel it’s my responsibility to remind you not to blow out your candles too hard today as you wouldn’t want your false teeth to come out!
Make sure you smile for every photo that’s taken of you today, my friend, so at least that way you’ll have something to look back on in a few years and remember what it was like when you used to have your own teeth!
You should consider yourself very honored and particularly lucky that you are one of the few people whose birthday I can remember by heart! You must be somewhat important to me, I guess!