You should be giving me a gift this year, bro

Happy birthday, my dear elder brother!

While I was contemplating what I
should get you this year, a thought
came into my head.

I was thinking that since I know all of
your secrets, bro, I feel it only makes
sense that actually you should be giving
me a gift this year for being such a good
keeper of those secrets!

Judging by the number of secrets I hold
it should be a pretty big gift, too!

I’m just messing with you, bro! I love
that you trust me with these things!

Have an awesome birthday today!